fashion advice

Everyone knows that even when out exercising at 6:30am I am fabulously appointed (*snort*) but I cannot say the same for everyone. Here is some pointed advice for my fellow early morning exercise enthusiasts.

To the heavy set fellow on the bicycle: kudos for getting some sweat-time in before work, big guy. However, the waxed handlebar mustache is Not a Lady Pleaser.

To the silver fox: hotty hotty, please, oh please don't tuck your pants into your high top sneakers.

To the guy with the dogs: yup, I saw you checking me out, but I have a hard time taking seriously anyone dressed in shorts that look like the Texas flag.

To the couple with the standard poodles: your dogs match so your outfits don't have to!

To the guy in the plastic jacket: I assume this is some sort of exercise device but it looks like you're walking around wearing a washing machine. Besides, it skeeves me out to think about what's going on inside the jacket.