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in the hoosegow

Friday, June 09, 2006

my dead celebrity match

Based on my physical preferences and personality characteristics, I got matched up with P.T. Barnum. No surprise there:

"P.T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor) responds...
"Get ready for the Greatest Night On Earth! Four full hours-- plus an extended run if things go well-- of sights and sounds unlike anything you've seen before. "

What your date might be like...
For Barnum, business and entertainment are the same thing, and hype is the spice of life. It's likely that any first date will include a visit to one of Barnum's famed "exhibitions," including a quick jaunt backstage, not so much to show you around as to take care of any business matters. Barnum and his performers get along smashingly, so they may want to meet you in person and get a feel for you before giving their approval. Afterwards, expect an aperitif/P.R. planning session, followed by a dinner/press conference. This can all be a refreshing change of pace if you're a free spirit, but it can be unsettling if you prefer a more ordered life, or if you feel honesty is the most important quality in a partner (Barnum is as honest as any man, but primarily to his bank account). When you feel the conversation lagging over dinner, here's a quick tip for salvaging the evening: describe any sort of physical quality you possess that is unique-- for example a third nipple, a vestigial tail, or gill slits-- in as much detail as you like; perhaps nothing would endear you more to the Greatest Showman on Earth."


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