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in the hoosegow

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

death and dying

My student worker and I were talking about a dead guy the other day. He had died in his dorm room and wasn't discovered for a week. While folks had explained away the smell (sewer problem), we wondered how his friends and family hadn't realized he'd been missing from class, social activities, not answering the phone, etc. We, we felt sure, would be missed immediately!

Hmm. A story about him appeared in yesterday's school paper and it turns out, this guy was a gem. Very kind, always helping out, devoted to his church, friends and family. Sounds like someone who'd be missed, right? And he was, but it just took a little while for all of the pieces to come together, mostly because he was an international student. His parents and fiancee couldn't rush over to his room to check on him and, well, it's the end of the semester so his school friends just figured he was busy.

Makes you pause.

While I'm fairly social at work, most of the calls I receive are from the PIG. I get together with friends but no one group on a consistent basis. I'm basically a loner. My sisters are probably my closest friends but because they're far away, they wouldn't notice if I didn't respond to an email right away. My old BF used to say, "everyone dies alone" and while it feels better to deny it, it's mostly true.

Sorry to be so maudlin, but spring always seems to bring that side out of me. I'm reminded that the beautiful flowers and animals I see around me are only here because other lives have passed. It's good to remember that.


At 8:45 AM, Blogger jip said...

yeah and it was weird how the article avoided mentioning any cause of death. which, since they dont mention it, makes you think it is something they dont want to talk about...like not a natural cause? i don't know. it was a disconcerting article...

At 10:43 AM, Blogger ranger said...

Hmm. I thought it did say it was natural causes but just wasn't specific. Sometimes they never know...
Still disconcerting, yes.

At 8:11 AM, Blogger paksenn said...

Your post made me think about my home situation too. I live alone and I am not entirely sure when my absence would be noted. (Except by my boss) Thankfully I have given a set of keys to a friend in case I simply disappear.

I think if it is suicide they generally don't release that information and may call it natural causes.


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