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in the hoosegow

Friday, September 29, 2006


This was a part of my horrorscope today:

"Watching others fail is depressing for you, particularly because you feel it is your job to assist others. Think of it this way: when you see someone not doing their best, it resonates with something inside yourself that you wish you were doing better. Always try to find that thing inside yourself that you are reminded of before you leap to help someone else."

Ah yes, the old "The things I hate about myself I especially hate seeing in others" conundrum. I think, though, that most of all I really do just hate seeing people fail, or at least those I care about, especially when I actually could have helped. I have to constantly remind myself that other people get to be in charge of their lives.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


My leg is all bruised up from softball. Last night during practice I caught a hard one on the shin. It's still red and hasn't turned black and blue yet and dang it hurts.

Every week I say "I can't wait for this week to be over," and then the next week is even worse. This week I am freaking out about various things which I can't really discuss. I honestly think things will be better next week, despite it being the week of a big symposium we're having and I'm partly organizing.

Let us hope.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

dogs at the park

Toward the end of my jog/walk this morning I watched a woman and her dog come upon two women and their three dogs. Since all were off-leash (gasp!), they gamboled around, chasing each other and having a gay old doggy time. A short way down the path I could see a guy with his big German shepherd heading their direction. "They're having a dog tea party over there," I said. He laughed politely. Stretching in the parking lot a few minutes later, I saw him and his dog again. The dog held a small football in its mouth. I said, "Does your dog play with that or just carry it around?" "Oh no," he said, and asked the dog to drop the football. He then threw it and the dog caught it in the air. (Hey, maybe that pup should sign on to the Texans.) As they walked away, he said, "He plays with it constantly all day. Doggy OCD."

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

date deux

Date number two was the dinner date. I had a gigantic salad and a lot of iced tea and a bunch of the dude's french fries. Hey, I'm a pig, so what?

But, dear readers, that was about it. We had a nice conversation, we laughed, and I'm afraid there's little to no chemistry, definitely no biology, although possibly some physics.

And on to the next one.

Monday, September 25, 2006

lizard man

We were watching PBS last night, which showed a program on reptiles. We oohed and ahhed until they featured this dude. This dude who used his big lizards to pick up women. This dude who poses his smaller lizards and takes photos of them, photos which may leave the lizards feeling violated or needing a cigarette.

I find it fascinating that there are so many kooks in the world. I'm a kook for kooks. I'm simultaneously fascinated and repulsed by the guy who "grooms" himself (I promised to never link to that webpage, so sorry), the folks in Victorian age who not only took photos of their dead children and other loved ones, but who made dioramas out of dressed up dead bugs, dead mice, whatever small dead creature they could find. Again, sorry for no link. Oddly, my searches for "insect* posed art" did not find what I was looking for!

As a kid, I pored over the Guiness Book of World Records. In college I was fascinated by the book and movie called Freaks. I love Geek Love. I've freaked out many people with my penchant for skin diseases and bodily abnormalities. I always wished I had gills or could fly or was born with extra fingers or a dead twin lodged inside my body.

Perhaps it's a good thing that all of those wishes on stars and birthday candles did not come true.

Or did they?

proton therapy

My Saturday field trip was a tour of the proton therapy center at the big local cancer center. So cool! We got to see the therapy rooms and then the huge machine supplying the protons behind the therapy rooms and then the syncratron that makes the protons and gets them up to speed (60% of the speed of light, or was it sound? Anyway, FAST!). We also got to pick the brain of one of the big wig doctors. He sat down at our table and gave us a speedy history of radiation therapy and the development of proton therapy.

As many of you know I have a healthy fear of doctors (they always tell you that something is wrong...) and I hate hospitals, but this was more like a lab where they do cool experiments and fix you with technology. I can see why this hospital employs so many people in town--I was ready to work there after a short tour!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


I got to go weed with some friends today. It's amazing how much more fun it is to do boring/dirty/tedious tasks like that can be when you do it with a group. If only I could talk them into coming over to my house...

The bonus was that I was weeding at the zoo. Yes, I got to hang out at the zoo with friends and didn't even have to pay admission. Wanna get in on this sweet deal? Let me know and I'll let you into my secret weeding at the zoo club.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

long silly survey

Yes, I stole this from a friend, who probably got it from a friend. If you're not interested, come back tomorrow.

1.You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
Well, they deliver some bread and water to the table, Jesus waves his hands a bit and we don't have to pay for diddly.

2. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
Rhode Island--so small, who'd miss it?

4. You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna do?
Does this mean that I wake up as a man or as a lesbian? Because if I had my druthers...

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Used to be Luke, but now I'd have to go with Han.

6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
I just wanted to play with my sisters' John and Janie West figures.

7. Top three celebrities you wanna do?
Celebrities are gross. Give me some hot science guys, please.

8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
long, dirty fingernails.

9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
Ju on?

10. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
Oh my goodness, this is a daily occurence. How am I supposed to keep track?

11. You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?
Bacon. If I'm gonna die, I'm breaking my piglet fast!

12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
get married, have kids, pay taxes. Hehe, just kidding, Mr. IRS man.

13. Before you die you want to go to...?

14. Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
I can't think of anything.

15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
that's not cool.

16. A drug you'll never try?
99.9% of them.

17. If you were an animal what would you be?
duh huh, a flying insect, preferably a dragonfly or a solitary waspie.

18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
My pal Doug, but he's already married.

19. What's something most people don't know about you?
I'd like to keep it that way.

20. First celebrity crush??
A teen idol whose name I have conveniently forgotten.

21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
a large rock. Yup, not subtle.

22. Favorite cereal growing up as a kid?
Fruity pebbles.

23. Favorite breakfast bread style?
french toast.

25. Worst way to die?
Knowing you're dying.

26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
in real life...haven't seen many. on youtube, leg broken during kickboxing match.

27. The worst injury you've ever had?
oddly, poison ivy.

28. Favorite thing about thanksgiving?
mashed potatoes.

...a bunch of boring ones deleted...

36. What's something most would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you.
I thought you'd be a man

37. Favorite kind of dog?

...again, deleted...

48. Book you could read repeatedly?
there are many, but Anne of Green Gables, for instance.

49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
It's too dirty to tell you here. Ask me over cocktails.

50. What was your best Halloween costume ever?
One I never actually wore, which was Take the Skinheads Bowling.


This is how excited I am about the new cycle of America's Next Top Model: I watched as much as I could of the Tyra show this morning and taped the rest. I'm going to a friend's to watch the 2-hour premier and I'm skipping softball practice.

Sigh. I am a bad tv addict.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Yes, ladies and gents, I just now realized that it's possible to upload photos to my blog. Previously, you needed some piece of software that I am not allowed to download to my work computer. No more! So you can look forward to the occasional pic taken by moi.

Monday, September 18, 2006

at the desk

Closing in on my last half an hour of my info desk shift. It's been busy and slow in spurts. I got through four li-berry magazines but I've also answered a ton of questions.

I just turned around to see one of my absolutely favorite patrons chatting with one of our student workers. She's a school kid whose dad goes to school here (I think). She's always got a lot of interesting conversation to offer, unlike most adults.

Oh, and my head is killing me. I can't wait to get outta here to lie down and eat some ice cream.

where was my snack cop?

The softball umps checked the fields and decided they were too splooshy, so we haven't yet played our first games. I was sad but it meant that I got to go to a friend's Girls' Night In. I drank a glass of wine, which I hardly ever do. I then proceeded to eat a whole bunch of snacks. By the time I got home I was feeling a lot sick. Oh, but the snacks were soooo good, especially the dark chocolate buttons.

Mmmm, buttons.

Friday, September 15, 2006

news report

This just in...li-berrian has social life.

It may not last, so you'd better get in on it now!

Seriously, I had a date last night. The guy was nice and we had a sort of gentle, low-key talk. Okay, low-key may not describe me, as I was as usual making jokes the whole time. Did I mention that the guy is a comedian, as in that's his job? Oh well, I can't help it.

Then I went to see Shawn Pander, who is a singer-songwriter. I've seen him before. His music is nice, sort of non-confrontational, and part of the reason I go is to hang out with my friends. Also, I clearly need to get out of the house more.

Tonight are our first softball games. My role is to be a girl. I get to bat but not field. Then again, I am an old lady and my shoulder still hurts from our last practice, so I am NOT complaining about not playing in the field.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

7th layer of taco bell hell

That is where I was stuck today at lunchtime. We have a small TB here on campus. Usually I wait in line forever but the food comes out promptly. Today, I was in line behind a girl who placed her order but instead of leaving the line continued talking to the order lady. Were they having an in-depth discussion of beef vs. chicken, exactly what a chorito might be, or had this emaciated child just discovered the 99cent menu?

I don't know, but she proceeded to place a second order. Finally it was my turn. I ordered, paid and received my receipt with my number. 27. Cool, except that just then the food lady called out "11".

I spent the next ten minutes groaning with the other starvlings, gnawing at my elbow because I'd neglected to buy the all-important long-wait soda. I did get some entertainment watching every single person come up to the drink machine, press on the ice lever, again, again, againagainagain, and finally give up.

And then "27" was called and I was permitted to escape the 7th layer of taco bell hell.


Softball practice last night...things to note:
1. One of my teammates insisted on throwing really hard balls to me. I have the bruises on my hand to prove it.

2. We got kicked off the field for not "reserving" a space. These are the big open intramural fields. We were happily sharing the grass with a group playing lacrosse and another playing soccer. Everyone got kicked off, so then there were no groups playing. Good policy, huh?

Project Runway last night...things to note:
1. I still love Michael, although his last two dresses left a bit to be desired. Michael, if you're reading this, call me!

2. Jeffrey is a tool. Period, end of sentence.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


I woke up from a very sad dream this morning and I've let it color my day. I shouldn't have, but there hasn't been much to jolly me out of my sad mood, with one exception. During a class today, a student kept yelling out non sequitors. When choosing a subject that would encompass our topic: security of online banking, he kept saying "Music!" and making me laugh.

Part of what's getting me down is my secret fear (whoops, not so secret now) of getting left behind at work. I really love what I do but it doesn't always put me in the right position to accomplish my personal-professional goals and I don't want to have to choose.

And then there is the fact that I saw a very disturbing infomercial about intestinal parasites right before I left home. It's not the one with the tall skinny dude with the terrible mustache, but another one. Anyway, despite my interest in all things ucky, this infomercial made me feel a bit queasy, as did the large amount of buttercream frosting I've consumed since Sunday.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

is it over yet?

This semester, it seems, is one long blur of classes and events. Today was an event that we called the Library Expo. We invited faculty liaisons and new faculty over for lunch and to schmooze with subject li-berrians. It all went swimmingly, except for some technical difficulties. People were so happy! To meet their librarians! And to eat lunch!

I am thankful it's over because I have two classes tomorrow that I've barely prepped for and another next week that I have definitely not prepped for. Also I am wearing shoes that make my feet tired.

i take the easy jokes

Boy, I must've been one of the few around h-town to catch the first Family Guy of the season. I kept making the native american what's happening joke and nobody got it. I even pranked one of my colleagues, just saying "how how how" on his voicemail.

But it turns out the joke was on me. He forwarded the message to me and I did not even recognize my own voice.

There has been way too much hilarity in our office this morning. I may get a citation for instigating a laugh riot.

Monday, September 11, 2006

we should've been the 9-toed ninnies

In case you're wondering, below is where you will find me for the next several Friday evenings. Can you believe it? Next to the times are the names of the teams we're playing. We're called the Decimators (used to be the Dewey Decimators, but some people thought that was too dorky). I cannot wait until we play Team Wounded Frog!

Friday, Sept 15th at Memorial Field #5
6:30 -- T-Ball Players
8:30 -- Magnum Force

Friday, Sept 22nd at TC Jester Park
6:30 -- Park's Express
8:30 -- Joker's Wild

Friday, Sept 29th at TC Jester Park
7:30 -- PWC Astros
9:30 -- Ultra Drillers

Friday, Oct 6th at TC Jester Park
8:30 -- T-Ball Players
9:30 -- Joker's Wild

Friday, Oct 13th at Memorial Field #5
8:30 -- Wounded Frog
9:30 -- Park's Express

Sunday, September 10, 2006

sadness unto me

Have I mentioned yet how sad I am that House and Gilmore Girls now share the same timeslot? I don't have one of those newfangled dvr mebobbies, so I am stuck choosing between them (when GG stops showing reruns, that is). I know, as far as tragedies goes, this one is pretty much a non-starter, but it is bumming me out. On other nights, I will probably be stuck watching the telenovela Fashion House...

ink on pink

I was making handouts of my slides for a presentation tomorrow and I decided to copy them on pink paper. Maybe I'm feeling sprightly today, or slightly nauseated and the pink is soothing...

Anyhoo, I then started copying the document, which is a fairly serious document, but forgot to remove the pink paper from the copier. D'oh!

The world of semi-serious documents is now semi-jollier.

Friday, September 08, 2006

more on books

So that was a joke, by the way. Remembrance of Things Past is a three volume book, three thick volumes. It's one of those to put in the "some day, when I'm laid up after surgery" pile. I picked up Madame Bovary instead, and some Amelia Peabody's from my friend.

This afternoon I'm trying out a different framing for a usual class. Basically I am inserting a small, silly mystery amongst the usual slogging through the catalog and databases. Yes, yes, I am a mystery addict. Just be glad I'm not making them examine bones.

Update: the mystery was a big hit, especially since the supervisor played the part of a crazed student quite dramatically.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

god left a bad taste in my mouth

So I read some more of Dinner with a Perfect Stranger last night. At first I got pretty mad because the author makes the same mistakes many semi-educated people make. Primarily, he refers to all of the acts that make up the process we call evolution as "random". Just because something is not designed, does not mean it is random. Every living thing is acted upon by many forces, e.g. gravity, sexual selection, a zillion environmental influences, etc. These forces together make it easier or harder for a particular individual and his genes to be passed on to another generation, or passed on in greater or lesser numbers of progeny (kiddlies, that is). How on earth could these forces be called random?

Anyway, I gave it a few more pages after that but the bad writing started getting to me and I put it down. I think I might try Remembrance of Things Past instead. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

grubbin' with god

For those who've seen Talladega Nights: If you had dinner with the baby Jesus, would you have to feed him?

I began a new book last night, Dinner with a Perfect Stranger, by David Gregory. I started it thinking it might be interesting--the cover synopsis was fairly intriguing, but I think I may have been duped.

The writing is a bit clumsy, but I could forgive that if the story had something to pull me in. The idea is good--Jesus invites you to dinner, what do you talk about?--but the execution, maybe not great in this case. I haven't finished it though, so I may change my mind. What's bothered me the most is the idea that Jesus is going to debunk other religions. So far he's tried to show that the creation stories of Hinduism and Buddhism don't hold up under scientific scrutiny. I'm curious to see how the author tries to make the Christian creation story make scientific sense.

It did start me thinking about what I might write, were I to tackle this idea of having dinner with Jesus, or another religious founder for that matter. I think I might like to have dinner with fat Buddha instead. It seems like he might know some good jokes and would order two desserts to share. Would we talk about profound topics? Not likely unless there was alcohol involved.

Anyway, the book is pretty short so I may report back on its conclusion in the next few days, depending on my tv-viewing schedule of course.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

disintermediate cluetrain weblogs

Haha, gotcha! I got this title from the web 2.0 b.s. generator. Friends and I used to do this manually. It's especially fun with 1. band names 2. english or education dissertation titles. Hey, it's how we came up with my favorite band name of all time: Egg McSmegma.

books, movies and more, oh my

This was a weekend packed with stuff and people and things. It started off with a happy hour brought on by the losses we've suffered at work. Oddly, none of the leavers joined us stayers...

Saturday was marked by cleaning, hanging out with friends, and Body Worlds. Body Worlds was sold out so we had to go way the heck out of retrieve a family membership card, then come back and stand in a short but ridiculously slow line before we could see the exhibit. It was totally worth it, at least for me. If you've been under a rock, the Body Worlds exhibits are comprised of plastinated human remains. Some still retain the form of a body but many are sliced into thin pieces or separated from the body (organs, veins, etc.). The exhibit is humorous, informative and, at times, beautiful.

Sunday was yardwork and Talladega Nights. So stupidly funny! I also got to go there in eprahs's sweet new ride.

Monday I bought about a million dresses and skirts for less than $20. Sand Dollar is a wonderland of used clothing. This place closes down its dressing rooms and cuts all clothing prices in half on holidays. So you can buy a dress for $1.90 but you can't try it on until you get home, and you can't return it. As a result, all but one of the dresses fit but THREE of the skirts were too small, despite being marked as the size I normally wear. This is just one of the reasons I hate women's clothing. Another is the fact that I tried on 10 pairs of pants at Target and not a single one fit. This was what brought on the massive purchase of dresses, actually. I am done with pants. Done! And then I watched wrestling with my wrestling-fan-friends and ate onion rings. Today I am very sorry about that. The onion rings, I mean.

Oh, and I finished Dead Men Do Tell Tales. I am loving all memoirs of forensic scientists these days.

Friday, September 01, 2006

my namesake

I took my usual online handle from my interest in waspies, but also from this film. Until last night I had never seen it. Boy, it was pretty funny, and very entomologically inaccurate.

The message, according to me, was about not being narcissistic and tying beauty and youth to your value as a person. According to my friend, it was more about how the lives of women who are single, don't have children and are successful in business will end tragically. Yeah, like eating up all of the men in your office is tragic. Hmm, maybe there's a third message there that we both missed...

Anyway, hope everyone has a weekend filled with NOT labor. Me, I've gotta come to work to finish up things I didn't do this week. Boo!